Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize