Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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