i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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