New low: just hacked my moms facebook
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official drugs can't kill me
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Randomize