Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize