I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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