Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize