Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me