A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table