i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall