so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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