Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
