Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
