I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
