Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
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