Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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