I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
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Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
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So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.