My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC