Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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