I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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