for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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