Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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