Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize