I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize