remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize