When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
