I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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