this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
