sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
