Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
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I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
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I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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