He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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