HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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