I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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