Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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