Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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