sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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