I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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