well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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