I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
