i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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