Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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