Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
