If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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