i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize