and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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