I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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