That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
