why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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