Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize