i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize