i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
