You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
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I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
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I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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