Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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